Siri, the Family BBQ, and your experience of Massage


I found out today that if someone asks Siri, the personal assistant inside the iPhone 4S, “Where can I get a happy ending?” the response is a list of nearby massage therapists. Sigh.

On one level, I think this is hilarious. I have a pretty solid sense of humor about life in general.

On another level, I think it’s annoying because the appropriate answer would list local bookstores. I’m pretty practical.

But more than any other feeling, I am appalled. I have a college degree, a certification from an accredited massage school, I’m licensed in two states and typically exceed the required continuing education standards set forth by two professional organizations. I’ve run a successful business for seven years, flourishing during an economic downturn.

And to be the target of algorithmic sarcasm coming from a phone? Really? That’s where we’re at? Good grief.

The Family BBQ

It’s somewhat bothersome to make small talk with someone at a family BBQ, and when I say I’m a massage therapist, the response is, “Do you do happy endings?” (Yeah, that’s happened. More than once. With my parents nearby, even.) Often, the silliness is less obvious, a flash of a raised eyebrow or a hesitation, but it’s there.

You & Massage

Here’s the thing: I know you, my fantastic clients who appreciate the value of regular massage, are not like the bozos who make ignorant jokes. I know you respect my skills and the benefits of massage therapy.

So I’m enlisting you to help me. Please, when you hear such jokes or when you tell someone you get massage and they make that questioning face, gently re-educate them. Share your experience. Tell them that massage therapists are not sex workers. Tell them that regular massage has been a wonderful treatment for your stress, migraines, back pain, etc.

This profession has come a very long way in the past 50 years, but we’ve got a long way to go still. I would very much appreciate if you, a recipient of massage, choose to be vocal and part of the solution.

Thank you, your support means the world to me.


PS- if you wish to lodge a complaint with Apple, go here.

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